Not on my WATCHES !!!

I bought 8 of them !

I find it almost as incredible as you do. A man buying 8 watches? A man with only two arms...mind you, they can be a bit longish !

    When I retired about 10 years ago, I took off my watch and said I would never wear one again. Then, while riding one day, I stopped in at a Walmart store (I confess I go shopping there on occasion...they do stock a lot of things!) and bought my first replacement watch for my old Seiko which got corroded in the drawer in which it was stored for years. I never thought a bedroom drawer would be too humid for Seiko but the corrosion seized up the whole working mechanism of the watch. Hence, a replacement was in order.

And so, "The Walmart SPECIAL" ended up costing me about $13 US. A bargain. Waterproof, shockproof and likely made in China but so what, I am not going to be racist about it and it maybe it is painted in a lead base paint, but I don't plan on eating the watch. It fit; it kept time accurately, it was easy to read while riding my motorcycle but best of all, the price was super. Though I had convinced myself that the crucial criteria was that it had to be readable, easily, at arm's length and on a bumpy, extended arm.

   This one was a winner, so don't ask me what possessed me to go on a watch spending spree. Maybe it was that my wrist didn't balk at sizing as much as my waist ! I think that may be the ticket !
     My next purchase was in Munich. I was walking in Marianplatz and walked by a Swiss Army Knife store. I own a Swiss Army knife and it has served me really well in all my travels over the years. I browsed the shop window and there it was, a Swiss Army Knife watch, blue faced, the white Swiss cross on the red background at the 12 o'clock position. The temptation was too much. I couldn't resist and besides, this was non-fattening!
    The Wenger, that's the name used in Germany for the Swiss Army Knife watches was a real winner. A sexy blue face, satiny in its sheen. Large easy-to-read numbers. How could I go wrong? And the icing on
the cake wasn't the silver bracelet. It was the nicely isolated date for the day of the month. Oh how cool it was! I got it, warranty, instructions on how to use it, how to save battery life when storing or not in use. Not

in use? Hell, I was wearing this thing night a day. Made me wonder if
the German soldiers of WWII were saluting or if they were merely
showing off their beautiful watches. I was definitely showing mine off
with my arm up in the air much of the time !
   Then, I was in St. Moritz, Switzerland and thought I should buy my wife something special. Jewelry? A tough decision but a watch would
be useful. I was given less than an hour to shop with the motorcycle
group with whom I was riding. I found a shop easily and the clerk would find me to be an easy mark as her Italian was incredibly easy to understand. When I explained that I wanted to buy TWO watches, one for me and one for my wife, but that I wanted something special yet not so that I would have to sell my rented bike ! She understood me well and found a beautiful mother of pearl faced Tissot for my wife and another blue faced Chrono Tissot for me. Well, she sold me on Tissot as a "Made in Switzerland" timepiece. What else could you ask for and a pearl faced one...wonderful, beautiful, sold...watches 3 and 4 !

Pearl faced !

Just look at all the buttons !

    Man, I was on a roll but after these purchases,  the clock had run out on buying any more. The budget sure was being hit. Still, I could not resist the itchy need of window shopping as I walked past any jewelry store. And I forced myself to keep walking, many times, over and over until I spotted the Festina. Oh what a clean face; how readable; now here was a well designed watch face. And a bargain at just over $100E. Irresistible and I could read it with a mere glance. Beat the Walmart by a mile !
    OK...now this watch purchasing was becoming silly, if not ouright costly, don't you think? I agree, kind of  like a woman shopping for shoes or a hand bag. One pair, one bag is never enough, but 5 watches should do it, don't you think ? I sure thought so. Little did I know I would be tempted again in Genoa.
    Years ago, while on a trip to Morocco, a scam artist caught me getting on to my tour bus with the offer of a Rolex for $20 US. A Rolex for $20 bucks...what do you take me for? A fool? But I looked at the watch. The sweep of the seconds hand showed it was ticking. $20? Ah, what the hell, I have spent more than that on cocktails!
    Well, that watch kept on ticking, better than a Timex for something like 10 years. When it finally died on a subsequent trip to Italy, a jeweler refused to change the battery for me denigrating the watch as being a "falso Rolex." Italians can be damn proprietary when it comes to protecting their luxury goods turf. And a 'falso Rolex' meant I was supporting the underground economy, so no battery change. Funny thing though, when I got home, and my brother-in-law, master of repairs, tried to open the case, he told me it had been glued tight. There was no way it could be opened. Just punishment ? Retribution for buying on the black market? Who knows! But here I was in Genoa, down by the docks. In fact, down by the pirate ship which was used for the Johnny Depp movie. The sidewalk hawkers were out in full force and one stepped around a post and asked in passable English, "You want to buy a Rolex?" He must have had fishing line attached to the watch as he reeled me in. $25E was the asking price. I offered 20E. He wouldn't budge. I stuck out the money but started walking away. He had just hooked another catch, so it looked like I was about to be released. But no, he had seen the colour of the Euros and relented. He sauntered up to me, and whispered clandestinely, "OK, OK...deal!"

A friend of mine owns a real Rolex. I will challenge him to be able to tell the difference when they are side by side. But he better not shower with mine on. The condensation accumulates under the crystal and only a hair dryer resolved that issue. I didn't know if the heat would affect the mechanism but a couple of days later, I lost an hour on this watch. Damn, well it was fun for a few days. And then, lo and behold, it started up again and has kept perfect time now for over a month. But oh how cool it looks...and I get the biggest kick out of saying, "Wanna know what the Rolex time is ?"
    If it lasts half as long as my first 'falso' did, I will be smiling with pleasure.
   OK, you would think I would be running out of time on this whole story by now. I sure thought so. Shopping in Paris, I resisted, and resisted, especially when I saw the prices. Then I hit the airport, crossed the security line and bumped into a Swatch watch store. They didn't have what I wanted. Maybe better to say I didn't see what I wanted. Wanted? Well, my wife just happened to innocently ask me "what day it was?" a few days early and I didn't know. Damn, I replied, I need a watch that shows the days of the week. Hunt, hunt, hunt...nothin or at least nothing reasonably priced until I hit the duty free stores at Charles DeGaulle Airport. I found another Tissot, different again, black faced, with the days of the week and each day even had a number to indicate which number of the week the day was. So Sunday, day 1, Monday, day 2...oh how cool was that. Even the clerk hadn't realized how these dates worked but we both came to the realization with a little stem turning. OK, watch #7, one for every day of the week! Enough already!!!
   But then I spotted the SWATCH and asked myself, 'How many people own a SWATCH watch?' I don't and why not? For just 43 Euros how can one say No? And it was duty free!
   There you have it the timeless tale of my watch saga. Customs declaration was another adventure...one which is best left untold !
   Oh and a final point. Calvin Klein, Hugo Boss, D &G, Cartier...they dont know beans about creating well designed watches. They create jewelry and it shows. Ask me, I know now !!!
   Visit back !